Dear Fosse Jack,
Last night I went to a great burlesque show in Seattle. The performers were working really hard and were really sexy! But it was really hard for me to enjoy the show because the audience was so rude! There were like four parties going on and they wouldn’t stop talking. One large group came in late, made a lot of noise and walked out early. Is there anything you can say to burlesque audiences in Seattle to get them to exhibit some form of common courtesy?
Sincerely,
Disappointed In Seattle Spectators' Egregious Disrespect
Dear DISSED,
I agree whole heartedly. There is nothing more disappointing than a good show being hijacked by bad audiences. That being said, I want to assure you that your experience while more common than it should be, is not the Seattle norm. For the most part, Seattle audiences, while more casual and listless than other cities’ theatre going crowds, are relatively polite. They may be hard to get vocally excited, but they appreciate the work performers do on an internal level.
As to your request, I do have some things to tell the average audience member, here in Seattle. The first is a reminder, courtesy of Firefly's Shepherd Book, that there is a very special level of hell, “A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.” Remember Jesus is in the room with you, and he doesn’t like it when your antics distract him from the hot girls and boys taking their clothes off on stage.
This brings me to a comparison. Burlesque is just like any other form of theatrical performance. Yes we take off our clothes. You might talk and be rude to the hard working boys and girls that work at “strip joints” but you are not in a strip joint. You are in a theatrical venue. It may not be as grand as the opera, or the ballet, but it is a theatrical performance none the less. Burlesque performers work hard to produce the product you buy. And just like buying a meal in a restaurant doesn’t give you the right to be ass-holes to your servers, buying a ticket to a show doesn’t give you the right to be douche bags either.
My advice to the aspiring burlesque spectator is to behave like you would in your crazy aunt’s Pentacostal church. Sit or stand when appropriate. Cheer (hell, say amen) loudly when the spectacle evokes it. I would avoid speaking in tongues, most Seattle-ites frown on that, but if the spirit moves you, show your appreciation raucously. Don’t chat with your neighbor, girlfriend, etc when the one up front is talking, singing, telling a humorous anecdote or taking off their clothes. It is rude, and you will, eventually, burn for it.
I hope this helps DISSED, and do feel free to show this to your friends and anyone you feel like taking with you the next time you go to one of Seattle’s glittering plethora of burlesque performances.
Loves!
~ Fosse Jack
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